Not Your Average Jewess

A mail order bride?

Appalling!
Every few months or so, perhaps about twice a year, I like to google my own name to see if anything new has come up. Normally there isn't anything unusual. But this time I was horrified to find out that somebody appears to be using my face & name for a Russian mail order bride advertisement! In shock, I found myself forced to look through the hundreds of photos of the gorgeous Russian brides-to-be, who are for some reason willing to give up their sanity for a life with an old, ugly, crippled and/or mentally disturbed Western European man. (Not that I want to sound judgmental here. I've heard it works out sometimes..).
To my disgust I saw that the women on the website had been divided into the following categories: The free gallery, the silver and the gold. The free gallery contained mostly photos of unattractive women, the silver had photos of normal/attractive women, and the gold had photos of pretty/beautiful women. This classification of human beings made me sick to my stomach.
For the record, I didn't find my own picture in any of the galleries, but my name is definitely listed there, somewhere. And possibly, my picture/pictures.
So if any of you men out there are looking to get a mail order bride, and you come accross a profile with my photos, here's what you should do: Dream on ;)